I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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