Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize