GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Randomize
