Don't you send me to vm
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.