Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now