Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
let's call it "werewolfing"
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"