so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
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You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
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Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE