So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Randomize
