please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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