Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
