ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
