After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
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Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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