I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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