They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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