wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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