While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
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Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
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This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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