This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize