You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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