i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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