Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize