Got a toothbrush?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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