that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
