Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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