Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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