I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
