im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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