forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
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