I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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