he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
3pm strippers are depressing
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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