actually, I'm a sock model
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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