I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize