So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
So squirting runs in the family.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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