How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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