Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
