also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial