you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity