Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"