Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did