Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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