i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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