I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
