I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I wish you could order shots online.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.