Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
