is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
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Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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