no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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