and you said cock pushups were impossible
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
