The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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