Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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