Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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