I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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