We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
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