I feel great
I just peed on a car
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize