I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize