He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize