Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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