I murdered the dance floor call the cops
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
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I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
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idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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