marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
